We concentrate and give much time and attention to make the other party good, perfect, pleasant, prayerful, loving... name them, while we forget that the culprit is always right before the mirror!
This post will deal with you as a christian woman-a princess, and how you ought to qualify yourself to be that right kind of a partner to your prince before he spots you! For a moment, forget about who he is, how his character will be, whether he will be caring, or godly, and think about yourself.
The Bible exhorts the elect to always be ready for the coming of Jesus Christ (their bridegroom). Remember the ten virgin women who were waiting for the bridegroom to arrive for the wedding banquet? Five of them were wise. Besides filling their lamps with oil, they took extra oil in jars with them, perhaps to refill their lamps lest the groom tarries.
The other five were foolish; they never had extra oil with them.When their lamps went off as they waited for the groom, they had to make haste to the market place to find extra oil. "But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut." (Matthew 25:10).
This is an appropriate analogy to show how you as a princess should always be ready for your prince to spot you. Your readiness should be inside-out. You should love the Lord your God with a genuineness of heart, you should desire God as the deer.
"As the deer pants for the streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God." (Psalm 42:1-2)
Most sisters have misunderstood marriage matters by placing their hopes on finding "The One" for them to have a happily ever after. And when this does not happen, and marriage becomes difficult, a woman may wonder, "It seems I picked the wrong man."
Now, the sure truth is this, living out a life commitment of love will surely be a challenge because it's a matter of lifetime. Do you remember the account of Isaac and Rebecca in the Bible? Theirs is one of the most romantic biblical love stories (Genesis chapter 24). It was clearly a God-ordained marriage. A match made in heaven, you could say.
As romantic and godly as it were, you couldn't imagine that approximately 30 years down the line, unpleasant issues could suffice. We find these lovers being parents of twin boys who lived lives of despising each other. Besides, this husband and wife found themselves in an entangled web of anger, deceit, and manipulation.
In this scenario, finding "the one" didn't guarantee a perfect, stress-free love affair. Bitterness and selfishness cropped into their love, even though their love and marriage was ordained by God.
What am I driving at? I'm simply admonishing you not to concern yourself too much on who you should marry. Instead of asking the question, "Is this the one I should marry?" Or, "Does he depict qualities of a perfect man?" you should first critically consider the following questions:
Am I found in Gods will?
In the blessed way of salvation, it is always prudent not to spin your wheels trying to figure out what you are not aware of. For example, your career path, who you are to marry,or the number of children you are to have.
Prudence become evident when you work out your salvation and be the center of Gods revealed will for your life. Love and marriage has God-revealed truths and guidelines, one of it being sanctification.
"It is Gods will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality." (1 Thessalonians 4:3)
God may not reveal to you the specific need of a godly marriage partner when you continue disobeying his obvious will for you. So if you are sleeping with your boyfriend, this out-rightly is not Gods will for you. Out of your own desires, you have chosen to step out of the path of diligently seeking him.
For God to direct you towards the right man, you need to do all he's asked you to do. Continue in reading his word, in prayer, in keeping your body and mind pure, and in thanksgiving; no matter your current situation.This is called obedience. And God is always ready to speak to a heart that is prepared to listen, trust, and obey him.
Am I finding Gods wisdom?
The difference between a wise and a foolish person is whether or not they take feedback well. Solomon in Proverbs seems to attest to that as well. In dating and choosing a man for marriage, there are general principles of wisdom that you should not ignore. Some good examples are:
- It is always wise to know a man for approximately a year before making a commitment to marry
- You should meet this man in different circumstances- how he relates with his family, friends and his pastor
- Do not ignore the "red flags". These are the signs that you may not personally see but the people who are concerned about you will be able to see. So don't write off your parent, friend, or pastor when they spot the blind spots in your man.
After asking, LISTEN! Take to heart what they say prayerfully. If need be, be willing to break off a relationship or even an engagement. I one time broke off a relationship within the first 4 months because, my close friend spotted some red flags in the man.
I had to be open to it and took time to figure out for myself prayerfully. Surprisingly, the red flags turned out to be a result of extremely huge background episodes in his life. It would severely devastate my life had I became angry at my friend and continued with the relationship.
Having internalized these two questions, I would like you to expect a great marriage ahead, but one that will involve commitment and work. Expect also that you will have everything you need to be an excellent wife by trusting and entirely leaning on the Lord (2 Peter 1:3).
No matter who you marry (as long as in Gods will), anticipate that your love will be greatly refined! Remember that marriage is a covenant and not a contract! It relies on work and commitment.
PRINCESS
