I believe you must be so eager to aquaint yourself with what I am about to write on profound simple biblical courtship elements that will make you simply find your charming mate. Yet, I believe that it's impossible to reduce the complexities of marital relations to some simple statements!
You will agree with me that we are surrounded by a global divorce rate of a nearly fifty percent. This does not include desertions, separations or less psyched couples who wonder how they ended up with a heart-on-collision; they simply are not compatible in any way!
Such scenes have left scars of bitterness on spouses. The appalling state seems to have been catapulted by the worlds believe that a happy marriage is one surrounded with the big three; money, power, and sex. And these have led to poor marital choices!
I tend to think that many follow the wrong majority route just because they are unaware of what to look for in a mate. Others opt to take any human being who "looks like one" owing to desperation, hoping that any flaws will hopefully fade as years go by. Surprisingly, such mates seldom change. Once a butterfly, always a butterfly- it doesn't matter the metamorphic state! Unless the natural DNA is replaced by the spiritual, you will learn to cope with him/her.
But why choose to suffer by derailing Gods standards? I would rather suffer having gratified the desires of my heavenly father!
Spare yourself the Trouble!
If you as a believer who doesn't follow that which is designed for you- way of truth and godliness, then negative consequences are bound to happen. A biblical model for courtship and marriage is paramount in order for you to avoid the consequences of a stray from the truth.
A common question that most single believers battle with is this: Who I'm I assigned to marry?
Well, allow me put the answer this way: Nowhere in the bible does the scriptures teach that a believer is already assigned to a specific marriage partner; it rather says that we are to choose the right kind of a person and avoid the wrong. One scripture that clearly begins the elimination process is 2 Corinthians 6:14-15: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"
Therefore, whoever you choose to marry, my dear single, becomes Gods will for you, regardless of what you might think otherwise latter in marriage!
Note: God is a sovereign God. And in his sovereign nature and pleasure, He already knows everything about you before hand, including your marriage partner! He is God and so who are we to question Him concerning what we are not allowed to understand as humans? Just know that as a believer in Jesus Christ, He has the best plans for you (Jeremiah 33:3). Its your role to walk out your salvation by not continuing in sin.
You can only enjoy God-given privileges and rights including a blissful marriage if you discover who you truly are in Him. This rare yet a mysterious understanding can only be ushered from a Kingdom way perspective during courtship.
What's the Kingdom Way Perspective?
Marry God's Word!
Allow me put it this way; be intimate with God. The word should marry you and you should marry the word BEFORE you marry your prince or princess (your potential husband or wife). Jesus is the word. God is the word.
If you then carry God within you, He will not deny you the spirit of discernment, so that you can know what is right or wrong, He will show you who is an impostor and who is real. Hallelujah!
You will never find total satisfaction in a thrilling romantic love with a human. Why? It is not a man's highest aspirations. If it were, then we couldn't miss a scriptural command to love romantically. Instead, the Bible has commanded us to love God most (Matthew 22:37-40). In Gods love, we can attain the greatest fulfillment that no human can provide.
One of my sister friends was frustrated and lonely because God had not answered her greatest desire: a husband. She got tired of watching, praying and waiting because she was convinced that being single is not the abundant life! Imagine that?
I had to share with her Gods word found in John 10:10, "The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy, but I have come that they might have LIFE and have it to the full."(Emphasis mine).
If you do identify with this sister, then let me speak to you.
Christ came to give you life. When you accepted and believed in Him, He became a permanent resident in your life in the person of the precious Holy Spirit. He lives in you. Inside of you. And that is the highest blessing you can be proud of- Christ Himself in you!
Don't misunderstand me; ultimately God created you to experience a romantic human love, it greatly adds a wonderful aroma to your life. But an intimate love relationship with God will always triumph over a human romantic love. God is a jealous God. He is jealous for your affection. And He must lead.
Now, Talk with God
Any relationship will always work when the right communication is at its core. A relationship with God is no different. Conversing with God happens mainly through your reading of the Word and secondly, through prayer.
And when you pray, be real to Him, don't be religious, don't be conscious of formulas or "enticing phrases". He is not a complicated God. Just tell Him what is in your heart and mind, just as you would talk to a trusted friend. The more you understand who God is through his word, your mind will be changed. Only then will you be able to discern when he is speaking to you and when he is not.
He will direct your heart even towards your marriage partner because marriage is not a strange issue before him.
Only trust Him, won't you!
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